I'm fine, I'm just not happy
by PurpleMagenta
Summary: Sam gets to skip a year on school and ends up in the same class as his brother, Dean. For him it's a dream coming true, but Dean seems to be thinking otherwise. And how does their father, John Winchester react? *full summary inside.
1. Good news

I'm fine, I'm just not happy.

Basic information about the story: OOC John, slightly OOC Dean, slightly OOC Sam, Dean is 18, Sam is 15, AU. The story mainly displays itself in Europe (Czech Republic, Prague).

Warnings: Swearing, abuse, child abuse, non-con, dub-con, self-harm, bad ending, insanity, sadism, sexual content, slash, teenage drama, incest, drinking, drug use, wincest.

I know people in The Czech Republic speak Czech, but since speak no more than 3 words Czech, people in this story just speak plain English.

Songs used for this chapter: Coldworld – Suicide / -

~ Chapter 1 : Desire over healing.

_Little child, don't be afraid._

_My concern is strong,_

_My interest is great._

_Special child, don't be confused._

_My love is tender,_

_My care is used._

_Annoying child, stop being a baby._

_Get your ass over here so we can,_

_Have a conversation maybe._

_Pathetic child, don't be such a nothing._

_You are embarrassing me,_

_Go ahead, harm yourself, just do something._

_My own child, don't be sad._

_I'm in a good mood,_

_You don't want me to become mad._

Sam rubbed his eyes when the school bell rang. He almost betrayed himself with the fact he wasn't paying any attention to Mr. Singer's class. His books remained untouched and he hadn't even grabbed a pencil. But it didn't mind anymore, school was over for this week and he wasn't planning on getting more homework than he already had.

Trying to leave the classroom without getting noticed, Mr. Singer still called him. Feeling guilt burn up his stomach, he walked over to his teacher. He expected him to speak out about his behaviour during his classes, but what came out of Mr. Singer's mouth would be above his expectations.

"We called your father and he agreed with us that you can no longer be in this class".

Sam could hardly breathe out of shock. Why on earth would that be? Wait, almost forgotten, because he didn't do a crap during school, neither did he do his homework. But his grades were great, so banning him from the class wouldn't do any good.

"We, meaning the rest of the teachers and me, have decided you can skip this grade and start in the next one in a week".

Yeah yeah yeah, no one cares... wait what? Did he just say... he didn't... did he? Sam's grades were fine, but not to say the same about his motivation. And skipping this grade meant he would be in the same class as... Dean! This had to be a dream. He always wished that would happen. Now they would have the same homework, which meant Sam could copy Dean's. Not that this was the main reason for Sam to be happy. Also he finally had someone to hang around and sit next to in classes. He hated being alone all the time. Only during breaks he would be together with Dean and his mates.

"I.. I don't really know what to say Bobby...".

"Aren't you happy? And I prefer my students to call me Mr. Singer or teacher, I have said this enough times".

Sam hated it to call adults other names. It didn't make any sense; What's the difference anyway? As if adults were more important creatures and to be called stuff like master or sire. No way he was going to surrender, but wait... he had no choice.

"You see, Mister Singer, I'm very excited about it and glad you gave me this opportunity but I must say I'm kind of chocked. I thought my motivation wasn't appreciated _that_ much".

He thought Mr. Singer just wanted him to leave the class, so he could go on without constantly getting irritated by unmotivated and sleeping students. Sam appeared to be one of those students.

"Well, motivation is indeed important to pass the semester but I understand your situation. You are focused on hunting, just like your dad does".

No, that is not the reason behind his unmotivated behaviour. He is just lazy and didn't mind coming out for this.

"But on the other side we see your grades and realize they are enough to pass this year. And since you aren't actually trying to do your best at school, we know you could get way higher grades".

So? That didn't mean going to a new class would suddenly change the fact that he is lazy.

"I discussed about this with your dad and... We decided it would be better for you to skip hunting and start focussing on school again. You seem really talented in subjects such as math and foreign languages".

No way. Oh no! Becoming a hunter was his dream. His number one dream. There was no way he was giving it up to become some boring office worker. If he couldn't reach his teacher's mind, he had to convince his dad that hunting would be better for him.

He didn't say anything as he left the classroom. He just nodded in agreement and his teacher saw this as a sign that the information was still spreading across his mind.

"Don't forget you start next week, just like the others. Wait nevermind, you can take a break for one week and then we'll see".

Thankful for this Sam again nodded, leaving the classroom and making his way to his locker. When he reached his destination, his cheeks started burning a bright colour. Anna, his former lover, was talking with her girlfriends about how great life was. It made him sick to realize she was still doing it, she was still being such a doll. This was the main reason why they broke up. She would be happy and optimistic at times it wasn't expected. If someone died in front of her, she would still have this angelic smile on her face. But deep inside, he still liked her.

They noticed him and Anna turned over to speak to him.

"Oh heey Sammy,".

No, just no. Only Dean could call him Sammy. And certainly not his ex-girlfriend.

"We were just talking about you, we are very proud of you".

They were talking about him, not his about brother? He knew most girls in school had interest in Dean and especially Anna. At times Anna and him were still together, she would constantly look at Dean. Not that it was her fault, since Dean was a very attractive guy, even Sam agreed. If Dean wasn't his brother, he'd totally do him. Disgusted with himself, Sam spoke out.

"Yeah, and I didn't even do a fuck so far".

Anna wasn't impressed.

"I know Sammy, you used to clown around in the class etc.".

Anna could barely finish her sentence as a piano fell out of the air, and it landed with all its power on Anna.

Anna died that day.


	2. No attention

I'm fine, I'm just not happy.

Basic information about the story: OOC John, slightly OOC Dean, slightly OOC Sam, Dean is 18, Sam is 15, AU. The story mainly displays itself in Europe (Czech Republic, Prague).

Warnings: Swearing, abuse, child abuse, non-con, dub-con, self-harm, bad ending, insanity, sadism, sexual content, slash, teenage drama, incest, drinking, drug use, wincest.

I know people in The Czech Republic speak Czech, but since speak no more than 3 words Czech, people in this story just speak plain English.

Songs used for this chapter: Staind - Outside / -

~ Chapter 1 : Desire over healing.

So Sam got home from school and went straight to Dean's room to tell the good news. He was about to grab the handle of the door when it already opened. Dean stepped out, looking confused.

"Uh, heey Sammy, what's up? You look surprised".

Sam's moment was ruined. He meant to surprise Dean but instead got surprised_ by_ Dean.

"Yeah, see... I got some good news", Sam said, now knowing where to start.

Dean cocked an eyebrow.

"Then tell me, I like good news".

Sam began to laugh hysterically. Oh cr#p, it was happening again. Sometimes Dean made him so giggly, even when there wasn't anything funny said. Hoping Dean wouldn't judge him, he spoke out again;

"Sorry for that, hormones... you know".

Dean nodded.

"Well you see... I got to stay a little later in the classroom. Mr. Singer had some good news for me. He told me that he and the rest of the school crew were satisfied with my grades".

Dean looked annoyed. Sam knew Dean's grades were far from perfect, so he didn't like others shape up about their perfect ones.

"He told me I could skip this year and... start in the same class you're in".

The expression on Dean's face wasn't easy to read. It was a mixture between sadness, surprise and confusion. But it wasn't the first time Dean wore this face. There have been many times Dean looked unreadable. It made him a great actor, maybe a liar too. Sometimes Sam thought Dean was hiding something behind these faces. As if a wall was to be broken before the true expression would join in on Dean's face.

It made Sam worry. What if there indeed was something Dean didn't tell him? He was acting a little strange these days. Hard to tell what though. Sometimes Dean would get scared if someone came from behind him. It happened 2 times just this week. For example when he was getting breakfast, Sam walked over to him to ask Dean to get him an egg. Dean let the milk he was holding fall to the ground and the ground was covered in milk.

It was a fact anyway that Dean was more like a little brother to Sam than a big brother. It had always been that way. Sam always felt the need to protect Dean, to take care of him and make sure no one would touch him. It wasn't the first time a pervert got hold of Dean. Once when they were walking in the old, historical city of Prague, a random man came over to him and asked him to join them in a porn. Dean told him he wasn't interested but the man wasn't satisfied. He offered him lots of cash and Dean still wasn't interested. The man told him that it would just be him and another man, no one else. This made Dean even less interested. He had no interest in men and wasn't planning on having sex with random strangers at all. When the men still wasn't satisfied, he got hold of Dean's arm and pulled him with him to a white car that was parked in the area. Sam saw it happening from the shop he was in and directly ran over there to free his brother from the hold of the man. Dean was shaking badly and Sam noticed his eye corners were getting wet. Dean looked away out of shame and neither of them spoke a single word about it anymore that day.

"That's... great to hear Sammy...", Dean said, forcing a smile.

Sam knew the answer wasn't lied, but wasn't the right one either. He wanted Dean to tell him what he really thought about it.

"That means we will be in the same class, isn't that totally awesome?".

Dean looked away.

"Is something wrong Dean?".

"It's just... Anna... I'm having a hard time dealing with her death".

Sam walked over to give Dean a tight hug, but Dean released and backed away.

"It's okay Dean, she's in a better place now...". (No she's not hahaha).

Sam grabbed Deans arm and pulled him forward, close to his own face. He looked him straight into the eyes and spoke;

"You will be fine without her. Apart from that, she is the one who broke up with you. So please don't fuss".

Dean nodded weakly and Sam hugged him again, only to make Dean squirm again.

"I'm sorry Sam, I'm just not in the mood for others touching me right now".

Sam took advantage of this and smacked Dean's ass hard, thinking of it as innocent bromance. But Dean looked hurt and not amused at all. He opened stepped in his room and looked confused at Sam.

"Get lost Sam... I said I didn't want you to touch me!", with that being said, Dean smacked the door close. Hard enough to awake their father, which opened his own room and stepped out. He looked annoyed and probably just woke up.

"Heey dad, I got some great news, I...", Sam got cut off.

"Dean, what the fuck was that noise? Do you want me to get mad, because I was sleeping goddamnet and you woke me up".

With that, Sam left. He headed for the supermarket to get a smoke. Good new isn't fun at all when no one is listening...


	3. Dominated

**© PurpleMagenta 2013**

_ Home_

John was outraged. Last night he came home after a night full of drinking in the pub in the neighbourhood. His eyes were red and dry. His throat was dry as well. How could he be so stupid thinking that beers would make the thirst go away? Oh wait... yeah; because he was too drunk to think properly.

When he came home to finally rest, he didn't expect anyone to bug him. But with his eldest screaming his lungs out and smacking the doors, there was no way he wouldn't wake up. _'Damn that boy'_, John thought with rage making its way through his body. _'If only there was a way I could make sure Sam would stay away. Because yes, Dean was really going to pay for this and Sam doesn't need to know'_.

To Sam they were just an ordinary family. Nothing extremely shocking had happened so far in the household. The only time something shocking had happened was when their mom passed. Sam had cried until he fell asleep when he heard the news. Dean would have hold him all the time. When Sam woke up, he was lying in bed in his big brothers arms. That's all he could remember.

John made his way to Dean and grabbed him by his right shoulder. Then he threw him against the wall and with a loud smack Dean fell to the ground. Dean blinked faster than normal to hide his upcoming tears. Then he took all of his courage to look his father in the eyes. John was still drunk, obviously. His eyes were still red and puffy.

"_What the hell dad? I was about to go to Anna's parents. They told me I should come ov..."_, Dean was cut off.

"_You weren't thinking, you never are. When will you finally understand? I'm sick and tired of you doing whatever you want. If you want to fuck that bitch then ask for my permission. I own you, remember? You don't just leave this house because you want to, you will only leave it when I tell you to. Understood?"_

John looked as if he was going insane. His glance wasn't only on Dean, it was on the floor too. It was a very disturbing thing to see. He wasn't himself. This was the John who came out to play when he was drunk; very very drunk. Not that the regular John would be much better, but at least he would do his best to make sure Sammy wouldn't see. Now Sam could walk in every moment.

"_I asked you a question, and you are going to answer it, whether you like it or not"._

Dean wasn't paying any attention. His mind was wandering somewhere else. Anna... How was it possible that an angel like her would be stolen from life so early? He knew she had interest in him and he also did have interest in her but was too afraid he might screw up. He was pretty popular in school but that didn't make him less shy. It was who he was, and some girls even liked it about him, but not Anna. Well maybe she did, but then why didn't she make the first step?

"_That's the limit! Now you're getting it boy!"_, John said as he walked forward to pick his son up by grabbing his hair, then threw him against the wall and caught him again. Now he was holding him between his arms, his own head leaning over Dean's shoulder. He made sure Dean would hear the next thing he was about to say.

"_Listen to me and keep this in your mind; You are nothing, NOTIHNG, without me. You need me! Without me you would be a hooker, getting fucked for money. Without me you wouldn't be able to go to school and get food. Without me you wouldn't have a comfortable place to sleep. So when I ask you a question, you will answer it. NO hesitation!"_.

Then he let go of Dean and walked towards the couch, putting on the TV. Dean was terrified. His eyes were huge and he was shaking badly.

"_Oh and by the way; I will deal with you later. Don't you dare to think you won't pay for waking me up without permission"_.

Dean nodded sadly, dropping to his knees.

"_I didn't hear you..."_, John said as he turned around to glance at Dean.

"_Yes father... I'm very sorry. I will make it up by cleaning the basement if you want me to"_.

But John had something else in mind. Something more cruel and something so deep that it was not to be said outside the walls of their own house.

"_You can start making the supper and I expect Sam to be home anytime, so clean up his room too"_.

"_I will father"_.

Dean started off by cutting some carrots. They ran out of stock and had no meat or fish to eat, so he would make an excuse to forget about the meat. _'Dean Winchester, you're fucked'_, he thought to himself.

_ The Supermarket_

Sam bought a packet of cigarettes and was about to leave the store, when his brother walked in. _'What the hell is he doing here?'_.

He just passed by and didn't even see him. Maybe he did, but didn't want to talk to him. Really strange... Dean was acting strange anyway these days, but it was only getting worse. He followed Dean to the butcher and saw him paying for 5 slices of pork. _'Ew gross... pork'_, Sam thought as he was noticed by Dean.

Dean turned around quickly and grabbed the pork and left the store. Sam was standing there with confusion running through his mind. He was sick of this game Dean was playing with him. What was really going on? Why wouldn't his brother just talk to him? He could tell him everything and he knew that. Also it annoyed the hell out of him that no one was interested in the good news he had; The fact that he was allowed to skip... one- freaking year!

That was the limit; he grabbed a smoke and made his way to Anna's house. Well, the house of Anna's parents. Anna wasn't there anymore, so it wouldn't be her house anyway.

xXx

Review please! I can't keep uploading new chapters without reviews. I need people to show interest in the story :P Thanks for reading anyway!


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